March has arrived and it’s time to take stock of your child’s progress in the classroom. Parent-teacher conferences will convene at the primary level, while open house gatherings will start at the secondary level. These events present a good opportunity for parents to get a sense of the teacher and the classroom atmosphere. More importantly, the meetings give parents the chance to ask questions about their children’s work and what they can do to support it.

Open house meetings are often conducted as a group with the teacher. Under those conditions, you’ll want to keep your questions general in nature. If you have specific concerns, schedule a private meeting with the teacher, but whether you meet privately or as a group, it is best to prepare.

First speak with your child. Ask your son how he thinks he’s doing. Is he running into any particular problems, whether with the work or in the classroom?

Ideally, you have been reviewing your child’s homework, perhaps online through the parent portal, noting their growth and recurring problems. Perhaps you’ve maintained a file of completed papers. Refer to this material as you create a list of questions, such as: What do you see as my child’s strengths and weaknesses? Is he participating in class discussions? What specific steps can he take to perform better on tests?

If your child is not keeping up with the class, ask how you can work with the teacher to improve your child’s performance. Are there resources the teacher can recommend for you to use at home? Would the teacher be willing to make some temporary accommodations that would help your son get past his anxiety? Does she offer after-school one-on-one help?

Teachers don’t want to deliver bad news any more than parents want to hear it. If you enter these parent-teacher meetings with the intention of finding solutions, you can remain calm and create the kind of collaboration that will help your child succeed.

Diane Trautman can be reached at StudyPros In-Home Tutoring, 661-296-9206, or www.studypros.com

Substance abuse is not an easy topic to discuss with our children, but with statistics indicating that one out of every five kids in eighth grade has tried marijuana and 40% of U.S. teens saying they expect they’ll use drugs in the future, it is vitally important that parents become more informed on the subject and more tuned in to and conversant with their children about the perils.

Heredity plays a role in a person’s susceptibility to alcohol or drug addition. Some people can dabble without becoming hooked, but children of alcoholics are four to five times more likely to succumb to alcoholism. If substance abuse runs in your family, discussing this with your son or daughter may help to dissuade them from even taking that first drink or hit.

Beyond the genetic component, children may also be enticed to try alcohol or controlled substances if their home environment exposes them to physical, verbal, or emotional abuse or if substance abuse is accepted in the home. Kids may also seek relief through alcohol and drugs as a means of self-medication for untreated psychological conditions including depression, anxiety, eating or personality disorders, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or other problems that interfere with their learning or social lives.

And the drug of choice may not be of the illegal variety. According to Cary Quashan, founder of ACTION Family Counseling Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers, children often raid their parents’ or another family’s medicine chest, taking prescription painkillers and sedatives. Abuse of prescription and over-the-counter medicines pose serious risks, including death.

It’s up to us parents to know where our children are, what they are doing, and with whom. We are more likely to gain this information and their cooperation if we establish and maintain open and honest communications with them on a daily basis. In setting clear and consistent limits, we demonstrate our love for them, we teach them a healthy value system, and we protect them from predators such as drug dealers.

If you suspect that your child is using drugs or alcohol, seek appropriate medical attention and consider intervention through ACTION or another qualified program.

Diane Trautman can be reached at StudyPros In-Home Tutoring, 661-296-9206, or www.studypros.com

As a concerned parent, you are probably aware of many ways to help your child succeed in school, from providing an appropriate space and time for them to do homework, to following their grades. One opportunity for involvement that you might not have thought of is classroom observation.
Although it may seem difficult to arrange to attend your child’s classes, the benefits can be immense. First, you should be aware that you have the right to observe any of your child’s public school classes whenever you want, and without notice. Simply go to the reception desk in the administration building and tell them you would like to observe your child’s class. Let the teacher know you’re a parent of one of the students, and that you would like to observe. Find a seat and settle in.
What should you look for when you observe a class? Ask yourself if the teacher uses a variety of instructional strategies; anticipates, checks for, and addresses common student misconceptions; gives students specific, timely feedback on their learning; explains content clearly and reinforces it in multiple ways; ensures participation of all the students; motivates students and encourages student effort; allocates instructional time to maximize student achievement; maintains clear expectations for academic and social behavior; and creates a positive environment for learning. If a teacher does all of the above, you should see a classroom full of engaged students.
I suggest you observe each of your child’s academic classes once during the third or fourth week of school. This gives the class time to settle into a routine and gives you an idea of what a typical class is like. If you haven’t already visited, make those arrangements as soon as possible.. You’ll get a feel for the teacher’s style and what he or she expects of your child.
Then, if your child experiences any trouble during the semester, you will be able to better discuss options for their success. If you child says he’s having trouble, say, understanding one particular teacher, you could go back and observer the class again, and make an appointment to speak with the teacher to discuss your child’s concerns privately, in a more informed manner. Any teacher worth their salt will welcome parental involvement, because they know it leads to student success.
Diane Trautman can be reached at StudyPros In-Home Tutoring, 661-296-9206, or www.studypros.com

Vast amounts of research have been released in recent years about how the brain develops. The findings suggest that from early infancy through early adulthood, we need to take a different approach to our children’s education.

New brain imaging technologies have shown that the brain goes through dramatic transformations in childhood and young adulthood. In particular, there are windows of opportunity during which the brain needs specific input to create the neural networks needed for efficient and effective functioning and future learning.

We enter the world with about 500 billion nerve cells in the brain, some of which are already sheathed in a fatty, waxy substance called myelin. Myelin insulates the neurons and enables messages to move efficiently in our neural pathways. For infants, that means enabling motor functions such as sucking, and then vision, hearing, language, emotions, and physical capabilities.

That sheathing process continues up into our mid-twenties when our frontal lobes become fully developed. The frontal lobes are responsible for organization, planning, risk assessment, reasoning, and impulse and emotional control, which explains why teenagers can be moody and impulsive. While their brains are under construction, adolescents rely heavily upon their brains’ emotional centers.

From early infancy, there is an overproduction of neural connections or pathways between the brain cells. At around age 10 for girls and 11 for boys, those neural pathways that are used remain intact and become strengthened. Those that are not used lose their myelin sheathing and are “pruned.”

Pruning is important. Maintaining too many pathways results in conditions such as autism. The optimal path is to provide the opportunities to develop healthy pathways while eliminating conditions that damage myelin and neural connections.

One important way to meet that need is through physical exercise. Physical exercise releases the brain chemical norepinephrine which speeds up transmission between neurons and decreases production of the stress hormone cortisol, which allows the hippocampus to absorb more information.

Among other changes, we needed to support structured physical exercise programs in our schools. We all need to get up and move around, especially kids who’ve been sitting in classes all day.

Diane Trautman can be reached at StudyPros In-Home Tutoring, 661-296-9206, or www.studypros.com

Commencement of puberty and the transition to junior high school is an exciting and turbulent time for children and parents. Adolescents begin to forge their identities often while parents are entering midlife reassessment. Next month, we’ll look at the shifting relationships between parents and teens in the march to independence. For now, let’s start with the developmental needs of teens and ways to start helping them navigate the path to healthy adulthood.

The two principal tasks of adolescence are development of the individual identity and the capacity for intimacy. Forming one’s identity begins in early adolescence, while the ability to sustain close relationships develops later. We’ll focus here on early teen years.

During early adolescence, children experience rapid physical and hormonal changes, develop new thinking abilities, and take on new responsibilities. They become very self-focused as they synthesize and integrate various aspects of personality they’ve developed from birth through their relationships with their peers, parents and others.

At roughly age 12, a teen begins to develop the capacity for abstract thinking wherein she can test different ideas based on logic and rationality and develop a hypothesis. This new cognitive ability allows the teen to engage in a more sophisticated level of problem-solving and planning both academically and personally. She begins to ask “Who am I?” “Where do I fit in?” “What will I become as an adult?”

We parents need to acknowledging the difficulty growth entails. And when we accept our own imperfections and continuing growth, we can stop being overly critical, demanding, and controlling and instead offer sensitivity, reassurance and love.

Through regular conversations, we can help our teens expand their problem-solving capabilities by talking about social problems, peer relationships and the events of the day. In these discussions, help your son explore his values, his sense of right and wrong, his expectations of himself and others. Help him develop empathy by listening to tales of his peers’ behavior and inviting him to consider the opinions and feelings of others.

Diane Trautman can be reached at StudyPros In-Home Tutoring, 661-296-9206, or www.studypros.com

From the ages of 12 to 15, teens learn to shift their affection and dependence away from parents and toward their peers, integrating sexuality into their feelings toward others, and forging a unique identity beyond the family.

The first step is de-idealization of the parents. Your child may increasingly point out your mistakes or ask you or other relatives questions about your past. Did you ever skip school, take recreational drugs, or engage in any other risky behaviors? Parents should honestly discuss the challenges of adolescence while withholding the worst of prior indiscretions. While reducing their parents to mere mortal stature, teens still need to see their parents as steady and reliable figures from which they can differentiate. Major disillusionment can be destructive.

At around age 14 or 15, teens will turn to their peer group as the primary vehicle for establishing their independence. They develop self-esteem, behavior, and appearance choices as they learn how to participate in interpersonal relationships with each sex. Teens will start to questions the rules, mores, and values of the parents as a means of determining whether or not to adopt them as their own. Your son may turn to other adults for guidance or emulate others against which he will measure himself. As your teen transitions through this period on the way to forming his adult character, you must maintain some authority, but allow others to have some influence in his life.

During this period, teens need us to remain in our role as parents. They need us to set limits and offer advice and understanding, not friendship. We will be in a better position to guide them if we don’t take their devaluation of us and our ideals personally. Remember, in this transition, teens need the freedom to evaluate our standards in order to make choices they can carry into adulthood.

Diane Trautman can be reached at StudyPros In-Home Tutoring, 661-296-9206, or www.studypros.com

How will you and your child approach the beginning of the new school year? With a sense of excitement or feelings of dread?

Children are deeply influenced by their parents’ attitudes and opinions, so it’s vitally important that parents help their children develop a positive attitude toward school and and a thirst for independent learning.

You can convey your enthusiasm for learning to your children in several ways:

• Help your daughter prepare for the first day of class by working with her to set up a good workspace at home, shop for the needed supplies, and establish a regular schedule for work, play, meals, and sleep.
• Read with younger children regularly, in shared reading as a family, and on your own in the presence of your children.
• Ask your son detailed questions about each day’s lessons. Who or what is the class studying? What questions were posed? What facts were most interesting? Why?
• Link information and reveal the relevance of what your children are learning by discussing current events. Engaging them in games and other activities such as those that require measurement, calculations, and written communications.
• Check in often and help as needed to make sure your child is on task with her homework. Encourage brief breaks for snacks and stretching to keep her refreshed and focused.
• Encourage physical exercise to increase energy and stamina, and rest periods to absorb and process information.
• Provide positive reinforcement by recognizing effort, offering words of encouragement, and giving praise for good grades.
• Make an effort to attend school functions and connect with the teacher. Join your PTA/PTO or site council.

Lingering anxiety stemming from prior struggles with the curriculum, with certain teachers, or bullies, may squelch learning. Pave the way for a academic experience by acknowledging your child’s fears. Then teach problem-solving skills by working consistently and constructively to eliminate the root cause or minimize its impact.

Education starts at home with parents who make it a priority.

Diane Trautman can be reached at StudyPros In-Home Tutoring, 661-296-9206, or www.studypros.com

Your child comes home with a report card showing a D in one class. Question: what do you as a parent do? You immediately start thinking: I’ll have to pull him out of all the extracurricular activities that he loves; he won’t get a-g credit for this class when applying to the UC system; do I need to start cracking the whip during his study time, or keeping him away from his “friends?”
Before you do any of these things, however, you need to ask another question: what does this “D” mean? What does this grade measure? What criteria did the teacher use to arrive at this grade? Effort? Participation? Homework? Attendance? Tests?
The state education code states, “Grades should be based on impartial, consistent observation of the quality of the student’s work and his or her mastery of course content and objectives as demonstrated through classroom participation, homework, and tests. The student’s behavior and effort shall be reported in separate evaluations, not in his or her academic grade.”
This means you should be able to eliminate behavior and effort from affecting his grade. But among participation, homework, and tests you won’t know where your child needs help unless you’ve received a detailed description from the teacher at the beginning of the course of the grading policy. You might think there is a consistent, school-wide grading policy, but accounting for components like missing assignments, late homework, or lack of participation is mostly up to the individual teacher, creating large differences in how your child is graded from class to class.
So getting back to our original question, what do you do? First talk with your child, and make sure he is communicating with the teacher. But if you are not clear on what the teacher’s grading policies are, you won’t be able to help your child effectively. So the next thing you should do is speak with the teacher directly and ask what went into that “D” and what you can do to help.
Beyond that, parents as a group need to speak up and ask principals to create and enforce uniform school-wide grading policies.
Diane Trautman can be reached at StudyPros In-Home Tutoring, 661-296-9206, or www.studypros.com

Has anyone at your child’s school discussed grade retention with you? If your son has significant difficulty making progress, fails to meet expected performance levels, or appears immature for his age, school personnel may recommend holding him back. It might seem logical that you give your child another year to catch up, but consider the existing research and ask a lot of questions.

While retention may be warranted, research throughout the past century suggests that grade retention is at best an ineffective strategy to improve academic performance or social adjustment. At worst, the outcomes are mostly negative: lower academic achievement than for their peers, diminished self-esteem and potential problem behavior, achievement gains that fade within two or three years, and the increased likelihood that the student will drop out.

What questions should you discuss with school personnel?
In what subject area(s) is he struggling?
What have you and his teachers done to help him develop the necessary skills? Has there been any intervention?
Which strategies have worked and which haven’t?
If your child repeats the grade, how would the instruction change to ensure a better outcome?
How much of an improvement can you realistically expect during the repeat year? Would it be sufficient to justify the possible negatives of retention?
How will your child feel about being retained and how will it affect her friendships?

Many experts, including the National Association of School Psychologists favor intervention over retention. As you consider the “promotion plus” approach, ask:
Have you worked with the teacher to identify accommodations to increase your daughter’s success? Have they been successful? Do others need to be identified?
Does your son receive extra support through one-on-one assistance or small group work?
If your son receives special education services, is the IEP current, and are the objectives tied to the standards? If not, will the IEP team revise them to focus on outcomes leading to promotion?
Could your child benefit from an after school homework club, one-on-one tutoring or counseling?

Children and their needs are complex, and we need to meet them where they are. Monitor your child’s progress and make sure she gets the support she needs.

Diane Trautman can be reached at StudyPros In-Home Tutoring, 661-296-9206, or www.studypros.com